wxgirl

I hope you all can read this. I found it quite interesting and it  makes a lot of sense to me. If you can’t read it let me know and I’ll repost.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/164197?GT1=43001

Sorry this is a long one! 

Okay, So I’m hoping to blame my persistant weight GAIN on PMS. My body is notorious for holding on to every drop of water within a 100 mile radius. Last week I was so good! I was excited to weigh myself Saturday morning (okay, so I slipped up and over-ate Friday night). I was working out every single day, paying attention to what I was eating and feeling better for all of the above. I expected even the tiniest 1 pound, or even back to my starting weight. Nope, tag on another 3 pounds!!!! I mean, seriously, come on. So, I could fall completely to pieces, but that will do nothing but send me in the opposite direction and make things worse. I can’t give in. Who knows, maybe I’m putting on more muscle again and it’ll take some time for fat to come off to balance out the pounds?

So after taking the weekend to rest and regroup, I will be back on the exersize wagon today with walking and an aerobic video. I used to be able to do the video twice in a row (a little over an hour total) and have more energy to burn. I tried it for the first time in a long time last week, I didn’t think I’d make it. Definately an awakening. But, by the end of the week, my form was better and it was much easier to get through. I don’t want to lose that, but improve it. I also need to get back to running outside. I may go in the afternoons since it’s pretty chilly this week (it can happen in FL, too).

I’m also going to focus intently on reducing my calorie intake. I know it doesn’t seem worth it, but reducing to 1500 calories is hard for me! I feel deprived and go into a serious binge if I go less than that. I have a feeling it’s my body’s natural desired intake (emotions, PMS, etc aside). However, I know that it will take much longer to reach a natural body weight. But, I’ve looked at the food journal and entered in some of my physical information and it says without exersize, I’m naturally burning about 1600 calories a day just by existing. Interesting, since I plan to eat about 1500 and I exersize between 200-500, that would put me in a pretty good defecit.

So, to come full circle, if I’m in a defecit, I should be losing at least a little bit! I have to focus on how I’m feeling and not let a number dictate my day (or week for that matter). I need to stick with what I’m doing and hpoe that it will pan out. If not, I will have to make more adjustments to finally begin to lose. I don’t think I’ll weigh next weekend since it’ll be that special time of the month…that definately would send me in a shame, binge spiral!

I hope all of you have had a better time than me and I’ll be in touch!

I had been good all week last week, maybe I didn’t exersize enough. But, I gained 1.5 pounds. Could it be muscle since I’m really trying harder to run and walk more and focusing more intently on my Pilates? I hope so, I really wanted to be down by at least a pound. I hadn’t weight myself in 2 weeks for fear of what it would have read last weekend (thanks to the 1 year anniversary beach vacation!).

  I try not to obsess over the number, it will only discourage me. I know that I have made conscious decisions to get out and moving more. Okay, so my eating hasn’t been that great. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to go on another diet. No more calorie counting. It’s so hard because I know (in the short term) those things work, I have to keep reminding myself that having done those things for so long has gotten me where I am! The good news is that walking and running have gotten slightly easier and I’m enjoying them as activities that make my body feel good, not punishments for eating too much.

Since I’ve gotten the exersize part down, I need to focus on what I’m eating and WHY I’m eating it. I’ve been watching Dr. Phil’s weight loss challenge shows, and he said something that made so much sense last week. He said something to the effect of “What do you do when you’re hungry? You eat. What do you do when you’re tired? You sleep. So why do you fill any other emotional void with food? If you’re sad, you eat? That doesn’t make sense.” It’s true! We feed ourselves food instead of what we really need.

I struggle so much with this (as some of you may have read in previous postings), I know what the problem is, but haven’t been able to fix it, like it’s an addiction. And I know that, right now, I don’t have a lot of weight to lose, but if I keep going down this path, some day I will be in serious trouble. And I’m afraid that that 1.5 pounds is confirmation.

Well sort of, it was the 6th. It’s amazing to think that it was a year ago! My how far I’ve come (hmm, 15 pounds at least). Okay, so we went to the beach to celebrate for a long weekend and any and all of my intentions flew by the wayside. If I’d made ANY progress over the past few weeks, I blew that away and then some. At least I can say I had a nice time and enjoyed myself without holding back, right? I have not weighed myself out of pure fear. Maybe next week?

I hope to get back on track this week and really start to tackle my issues that are leading me to overeat. Those include but are not limited to:

-Boredom

-Anxiety

-Lack of sleep!!!

-Lonliness

Though I may have a leg up since I’m able to identify these issues, I feel I’m worse off because I don’t know what to do about them, or maybe I don’t like my options. As I’ve said in previous postings, I think I may seek a second job until a more permanent placement comes about. That will remedy several of the above listed items. Of course, it would probably have to be another retail job since this area is flooded with cheap (college kid) labor, not unlike myself. Just kind of degrading, masters degree n’ all. Maybe it’ll be good for me and maybe even fun? I don’t want to leave my current -small- office job, so that may be another limiting factor.

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow for the first time in a loooong time, I’m so glad I’m dragging my butt though, necessary evil. Anyway, after that I plan on cruising around to find somewhere that isn’t totally abhorrent and/or degrading to work. Hey, that’ll at least kill tomorrow afternoon.

The other option is to fly out to SD to stay with my crazy aunt for a week and demo her rental property! Ha! How about them apples? That certainly would keep me entertained (you couldn’t tie the woman to a chair) and it would be a major workout. Oh, did I mention she gets up at 4:30 every morning and has 18 cats plus 5+ dogs (I’ve lost count), a hand full of horses, roosters and a turkey?? The even crazier thing is that I’m now considering it. I mean, when else will I be able to do this? Especially after I get a “big people” job. Okay, add that to the docket for tomorrow (1. get prodded by dentist, 2. seek second small job, 3. seriously discuss cross-country trip to crazy aunt’s house, 4. “my wife to murder and Gilder to frame for it), I’m swamped!”  ; )

 Have a great day, kiddos.

As I said in my last post, my biggest enemy is shear boredom! Waiting for decent jobs to open up has left me with lots of down time, and subsequent face-stuffing. I feel like I’m treading water with no forward momentum. I miss the little things of normal daily life, even the tough deadlines of classes; I had something to look forward to. It’s the strangest feeling to be just floating aimlessly. I’m “filling” my time instead of enjoying it. I’ll watch tv even though I don’t care about the show or play silly computer games that do nothing but get me through another day.

My family has always been very action-oriented. They are constantly moving and going and doing and so was I. So to hit a lull drives me crazy! I thought that I would get my masters degree (in meteorology!!), get a great job and be able to move back home by mid-september to be near my family again. Okay, no. Well maybe by October? Not likely. Now, we are even thinking about having to make travel plans to be home for Christmas. We may not be able to afford it because I work a job that pays about 1/5 of what I was earning while getting my degree and I only work about 3 hours 3 days a week. Nothing like doing a chump-job for minimum wage with a masters degree!! It’s one of those childhood illusions that sticks with you into adulthood; that you can be whatever you want to be, and that it’ll happen just like that.

Of course, to add to this plight is the bit of extra weight. The stress of the situation always makes it worse (less sleep, more boredom, more eating, more weight, more stress…) and maybe a little disappointment and depression thrown in there. Overall, I would describe myself as an open-minded optimist. I really try to focus on the good. But, as my title indicates, PMS likes to sabotage those efforts (and add a few pounds-yeah its water but still! I feel like a blimp!).

So, here we are. My attempt to avoid the pantry (and the peanut butter jar) and avoid the temptation of going to the grocery store and buying a jug of wine to down before dinnertime!

I hope, at least, that you are having a better day and that you are feeling beautiful and successful.

Hey Everybody! I hope you’re having a plesant day so far. I guess I will enter into a whole new world of addiction with this blogging thing. Yes, I’m young, but I’ve never actually partaken. I guess after putting on some unwanted weight, I figured it was time to do something about it. So maybe you all can help me : ) Granted, I don’t have a lot to lose in the grand scheme of things (about 10 pounds) but considering the fact that I’ve never had to seriously lose weight before, nor have I ever really had a struggle, makes it harder ten-fold. I’ll take all of the support I can get. And trust me, I will dish out support right back at you. Deal?

The biggest thing for me is that I’ve been doing those stupid “crash” diets to lose a few pounds here and there but I really never needed to. All that did was cause my weight to yo-yo and disconnect me from my natural hunger and satiety cues. So here I am, REALLY needing to lose weight this time and wanting to legitimately do it correctly ( i.e. re-connecting with my bodys natural needs and wants). I’ve been reading a book called “Intuitive Eating” it’s really awesome and I feel like it was written about me! All of the concepts are awesome and make so much sense, I just haven’t quite been able to apply them. Does that mean I’m not ready? Does it mean I’m lazy? Or am I broken from years of thinking I was fat and crash dieting?

Okay, I don’t want to take up ALL of your day, so I guess I’ll end my first blog here. I obviously have put a lot of thought into all of this. So the gist of it all is: PLEASE HELP!

Have a great rest of your day!